Excitement - with some trepidation!

We are going to a show on Sunday!
I hadn't even considered the Haflinger Society spring show until Helen emailed this week to ask if Alfie and I would like to go with her and BB. Well, how could I refuse when I have a new show jacket to try out (bought with the kind get well donations from people at last year's breed show) and even Pete thought it would be a good idea!
Just doing the in hand training first, then the showing class in the afternoon. I am looking forward to it for many reasons - taking my lovely horse out and showing him off, meeting up with some friends, going out with Helen for a day (we had fun last time!) and taking Alfie in her beautiful new horsebox. And just for the fact it is doing something with Alfie again.
Slight trepidation comes from the fact it is at Warwickshire College - Scene of The Accident. However, although this is in my mind a bit, I am not letting it overtake the excitement. It will also probably be good to go back before the breed show and get it over with. Maybe!
Also, I am not worrying about it as I have no idea how I will feel again.
This whole 'recovery' if you can call it that is very much a play it by ear kind of game, I am discovering. Never assume anything and just go with how I feel.
It is still all very much in my head from time to time and plays out like a film clip, but I am dealing with it now and it isn't ruling everything else. It is in the background.
I imagined I would be so so nervous about riding and although it is in the back of my mind all the time that I want to be careful and not fall off, I am not nervous about riding as such. In fact I have ridden Dude twice today (ssshhhhhh!!!) and it was fun. So that was a surprise.
In my mind I am thinking it will be a huge deal to go back to the college and see where it happened - that very path, the hillock, the arenas where everything had to stop whilst I was collected in the ambulance etc - but it might not be when I actually get there. On the other hand, if it is and I have a wobbly moment - then so be it. I will deal with it and get on with it. I will have my lovely horse and my friend with me and if anyone has an inkling about what goes on emotionally after such a trauma, Helen does, having been in the same boat herself last year.
So, onwards and upwards and roll on Sunday!